Stoppinginanunfamiliarbarbershopforashave，ayoungplayboytookafancytothemanicuregrilandsuggesteddinnerandashowthatevening.thegirldemurred，"Idon'tthinkIoughtto，I'mmarried.""Whydon'tyouaskyourhusband，"theplayboysuggested."I'msurehewouldn'tobject.""Youcanaskhimyourself，"thegirlsrugged."He'sshavingyou."一位年轻的花花公子在一家不熟悉的理发店里刮胡须，他很喜欢修指甲的女郎，于是提议哪天晚上去吃晚餐和看表演。女郎犹豫着说：“我觉得我不应该去，我结过婚了。”“你何不问问你先生，”花花公子建议说：“我确 ...

Amanwasdrivingtoworkwhenatruckranastopsign...hithiscarbroadside，andknockedhimcold.Passerbyspulledhimfromthewreckandrevivedhim.Hebeganaterrificstruggleandhadtobetranquilizedbythemedics.Later，whenhewascalm，theyaskedhimwhyhestruggledso.Hesaid，"Iremembertheimpact，thennothing.Iwokeuponaconcreteslabinfrontofahuge，flashing'Shell'sign.Andsomebodywasstandinginfrontofthe'S.'有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过 ...

Jackhadgonetotheuniversitytostudyhistory，butattheendofhisfirstyear，hishistoryprofessorfailedhiminhisexaminations，andhewastoldthathewouldhavetoleavetheuniversity.However，hisfatherdecidedthathewouldgotoseetheprofessortourgehimtoletJackcontinuehisstudiesthefollowingyear."He'sagoodboy，"saidJack'sfather，"andifyoulethimpassthistime，I'msurehe'llimprovealotnextyearandpasstheexaminationsattheendofitreallywell.""No，no，that'squiteimpossible，"repliedtheprofessorimmediately."Doyouknow，lastmonthIas ...

1）Iloveyounotbecauseofwhoyouare，butbecauseofwhoIamwhenIamwithyou.
    我爱你，不是因为你是一个怎样的人，而是因为我喜欢与你在一起时的感觉。
    2）Nomanorwomanisworthyourtears，andtheonewhois，won‘tmakeyoucry.
    没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。
    3）Theworstwaytomisssomeoneistobesittingrightbesidethemknowingyoucan‘thavethem.
    失去某人，最糟糕的莫过于，他近在身旁，却犹如远在天边。
    4）Neverfrown，evenwhenyouaresad，becauseyouneverknowwhoisfallinginlovewithyoursmile. ...

Oneday，afatherandhislittlesonweregoinghome.Atthisage，theboywasinterestedinallkindsofthingsandwasalwaysaskingquestions.Now，heasked，"What'sthemeaningoftheword'Drunk'，dad？""Well，myson，"hisfatherreplied，"look，therearestandingtwopolicemen.IfIregardthetwopolicemenasfourthenIamdrunk.""But，dad，"theboysaid，"there'sonlyONEpoliceman！"一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？”“唔，孩子，”父亲回答 ...

Lawyer：Yousayyouwereaboutthirty-fivefeetawayfromthesceneoftheaccident？Justhowfarcanyouseeclearly？Witness：Well，whenIwakeupinthemorningIseethesun，andtheytellmeit'saboutninety-threemillionmilesaway.律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西？证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。

Mattandhiswifelivedinthecountry.Mattwasverystingyandhatedspendingmoney.Onedayafaircametothenearbytown."Let’sgotothefair，Matt，"hiswifesaid."Wehaven’tbeenanywhereforalongtime."Mattthoughtaboutthisforawhile.Heknewhewouldhavetospendmoneyatthefair.Atlasthesaid，"Allright，butI’mnotgoingtospendmuchmoney.We’lllookatthings，butwewon’tbuyanything."Theywenttothefairandlookedatallthethingstobuy.ThereweremanythingsMatt’swifewantedtobuy，buthewouldnotletherspendanymoney.Then，inanearbyfield，theysawa ...

欧洲杯小组赛第三轮，爱尔兰0：4大败于西班牙，悲情出局。但爱尔兰的球迷却悲情地齐声高唱民歌，这是歌词。也算诗吧，请欣赏：
    lyricsof
    TheFieldsofAthenry
    PeteSt.John
    Byalonelyprisonwall
    Iheardayounggirlcalling
    Michealtheyaretakingyouaway
    ForyoustoleTrevelyn'scorn
    Sotheyoungmightseethemorn.
    Nowaprisonshiplieswaitinginthebay.
    LowlietheFieldsofAthenry
    Whereoncewewatchedthesmallfreebirdsfly.
    Ourlovewasonthewingwehaddreamsandsongstosing
    It'ssolonely'roundt ...

Apreacherisbuyingaparrot.一个传教士在买鹦鹉。"Areyousureitdoesn'tscream，yell，orswear？"askedthepreacher.“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗？”传教士问。"Ohabsolutely.He'sareligiousparrot，"thestorekeeperassureshim.“噢，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主向他保证。"Doyouseethosestringsonhislegs？Whenyoupulltherightone，herecitesthelord'sprayer，andwhenyoupullontheleftherecitesthe23rdPsalm."“你看见它腿上的那些细绳了吗？当你拉动右边这根，它会背诵天主经；当你拉动左边那根，它会背诵赞美诗。”"W ...

Jerrywenttoapsychiatrist."Doc，"hesaid，"I'vegottrouble.EverytimeIgetintobed，Ithinkthere'ssomebodyunderit.I'mgoingcrazy！""Justputyourselfinmyhandsforoneyear，"saidtheshrink."Cometomethreetimesaweek，andI'llcureyourfears.""Howmuchdoyoucharge？""Ahundreddollarspervisit.""I'llsleeponit，"saidJerry.SixmonthslaterthedoctormetJerryonthestreet."Whydidn'tyouevercometoseemeagain？"askedthepsychiatrist."Forahundredbucksavisit？Thebartendercuredmefor$10.""Isthatso！How？""Hetoldmetocutthelegsoffthebed！A ...